Body Language and Your Awareness Aptitude
Written by Harlan Goerger
How your body speaks louder than your words, Harlan explores the mystery behind body language and how to read its subtle signals.
Its January of 1998 and President Bill Clinton is saying, “I did not….”.
In Minneapolis the phone is ringing every five minutes.
“Have you got it figured out yet? Is he lying? We know he is lying, but we need some type of proof!”
“Yes, I know he is lying, I just am not putting my finger on it yet!”
“Dr. Hogan, we have to go to press on this, can you verify it?”
Thus the conversation went that day until Dr. Hogan, body language expert, said “AH, HA, I have it!”
Major news media had asked Dr. Hogan to examine the report and indicate by body language that President Clinton was lying.
Have you ever had the sense that something just wasn’t right, yet could not put your finger on what is telling you that?
Here are the answers Dr. Hogan discovered and some ideas that could help you….
You see, reading body language is a science all to it self. Our mind and body are so connected that it is impossible to hide or control all our emotional reactions.
Others pickup these clues subconsciously and react on a subconscious level.
Just the other day in a training session, I gave the example of two different women describing the perfect evening; one jetting to Paris, one at home by the fire. I have used this example many times with predictable answers. This time one female participant indicated the woman was “horney”, (it is risky asking questions) and I reacted with an uncontrolled blush.
I realized my reaction yet could do nothing about it. My body language was being controlled by an emotional response!
It is this emotional response that all of us are susceptible to and are challenged to control.
It is this emotional response that tells us the true feeling or reaction of others. If we can learn to read this more effectively what could it tell us?
Back to President Clinton; after viewing the tape multiple times, Dr. Hogan was getting frustrated. He knew there was something different, but what?
Ah, Ha, Clinton was using his right arm and hand to emphasize his point, he is left handed! He normally uses his left hand and arm!
BIG POINT! It is not so much the actual body language itself as the change in body language. If someone makes a significant change in their body or facial expression, it could be noting an emotional change!
When I demonstrate deep questioning methods with a training participant in our programs, the body change can be very dramatic as we get closer to their true feelings and views!
The challenge I note is how many people observing the demonstration miss this dramatic change that is happening right in front of them!
That is why the 4th and 5th questions from our article "Your Awareness Aptitude" are about body and facial language.
In many communications programs the statement, “What you do speaks so loud I can not hear what you say!” is present in some form or another.
Other research indicates that body and facial language may be up to 90% of what is communicated or read by the other person! That is consciously or unconsciously!
So much for great language and verbal skills!
If this is all so, then what can you and I do to read others better? Here are a few points to consider:
The area of “body language” is a huge study. The fist step is to be aware and observe what others do and how they change under different circumstances.
So what are some ideas you can use to put yourself more in control of the body language you project?
Ok, we could keep going, there is plenty more on subtle body signals that tell us a great deal about others.
If you really want to see a master at reading subtle body signals, search Darren Brown, Persuasion Master from England (now has a show on PBS).Virtually everything he does is based on reading the other person.
Just think if you could master the art of reading others. What doors would it open? What opportunities could it create?
For more on body language or to set up a session for your group, check out our web site BusArcOnLine.com.
Till next week, keep observing!
National Director of Training© Harlan Goerger 8-2007